Not everything needs to be solved

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Broken heart withMartijnNot everything needs to be solved

Last week I spend writing in a cute little house in a quiet, tiny town. I have set myself the goal of writing my book and wanted to do a sprint towards getting it done, constraining my time. And I must say I am really pleased that I have finished a good number of pages. This retreat also thought me a personal lesson, which I want to share with you.

Human beings, not human doers

Stepping out of my regular routine made me aware of the tendency I have of running away in activities. It can feel so rewarding to be busy doing things, so you are getting stuff done. Which gives that pleasant rush of accomplishment. Ticking off that those items on your To Do list. But I realised that sometimes it is also perfectly okay just to be — after all, we are human beings, not human doers.

Giving room to what is…

Being away these few days to a place where there was not much excitement or any distractions, allowed me to really reflect on what is. Giving space for thoughts to arise to the surface. It became clear to me that I am living too future focused. Addressing all subjects as projects I need to work on, as things that need fixing. Even those that are out of my control, like meeting the right person for that wonderful relationship I so deeply desire.

…allow yourself a break

Writing for days facing a wooden sculpture of a big, broken heart on the wall, I decided to acknowledge that deep desire. And I realised that I needed to give myself a break. Being single is not a “problem” to be solved. It is the opportunity to create my own happiness. And yes, that requires sometimes a bit more effort. But luckily, that is something I can turn into a project to work on.

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